Hi.

« Back to blog

Viewed 5042 times

Favorited 4 times

A rant about ketchup: the worst fucking user interface on earth

Why in the hell do people use these shitty glass bottles anymore? I would be embarrassed to put one of these atrocities in my restaurant.

It is as though the glass ketchup bottle is an attempt to actively inhibit my use of the ketchup.

The thin plastic nozzle-topped ketchup bottle is the BEST ketchup dispensing device available. With its beautiful jet-stream of ketchup, you can fine-tune the precise amount of ketchup to dispense. And it never gets stuck. There's no shaking of the bottle. No knives. Just a pure unending stream of ketchup.

IT IS VASTLY SUPERIOR:

Even the trusty supermarket dispenser is a huge improvement:

And how can we forget ketchup packets? Always efficient and easy.

Anything is better than the glass bottle.

Loading mentions Retweet

Posted 8 months ago

13 comments

May 15, 2009

Major Hayden said...

Very creative post. I despise the glass bottles as well.

May 15, 2009

Sachin Agarwal said...

aren't the glass bottles pretty much only used in diners and similar situations?

it's really only about the nostalgia

May 16, 2009

Michael said...

perhaps restaurants realize it's harder to get ketchup out of the glass bottles so they use them in order to cut down on the costs of ketchup.

it's so hard to get the ketchup out because it's a non-Newtonian fluid: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Non-Newtonian_fluid

May 18, 2009

David said...

As it happens, those plastic dispensers you espouse present health risks. Ever see homeless people sucking on them, for example? I didn't think so.

May 18, 2009

Pneese said...

@David You do realize that people can contaminate the glass bottle/open ended or tipped dispenser right? Packets are the best for ensuring the contents are not contaminated. I'm a fan of the large push top dispensers you use small cups with or add directly to a burger or fries.

I definitely agree the glass bottles serve two purposes:
1. To show the use of a more expensive brand and imply quality
2. For the look of old dinners

May 21, 2009

Aalaap Ghag said...

hahah i love it !!! leave the bottles to the beer! :-D

May 21, 2009

Beth said...

But what about when the plastic bottles get low and you squeeze them and get the faint spray of ketchup everywhere :(

May 21, 2009

lenz1105 said...

It's about the story, not the utility. My Dad taught me the "secret" to getting the ketchup to come out. His Dad taught him, and I've heard a 100 different "secrets." The secret doesn't matter, the fact that I remember the story and associate it with Heinz does. And the fact that I'll teach my son some day how his Dad knows the best way to get that ketchup to come out is even more important to the brand.

Jun 01, 2009

Shelly said...

I LOL'ed out loud. Amen brother! My stupid college dining hall uses the damn glass bottles for no good reason AT ALL. (It's a stupid dining hall not a 5 star restaurant, so the "glass looks better" argument goes out the window)

Jun 01, 2009

William said...

My dad actually had to work with the Heinz people at his last company. They taught him the trick to using the glass bottles. You need to angle the bottle down and karate chop the neck right at the tiny "57" raised on the glass. That's the sweet spot. I shit-you-not, that's what they told him. Does it work? Yes. But I'll keep using my squeeze bottle, thank you very much.

Jun 01, 2009

RKB said...

Saw this a couple of months ago in the NYT, regarding iconic form versus practical function:

"Yet there is one example of something that is generally considered to be “good design,” which does break the golden rule. It is part of our daily lives, and has been designed to similar specifications for more than a century — the glass Heinz Tomato Ketchup bottle. If you asked the millions of people who use that glass bottle whether it is well designed, they would probably say 'yes.' If not they would be fools, because they could achieve exactly the same outcome — seasoning their food with fresh ketchup — by buying one of Heinz’s plastic bottles, which are not only cheaper, but do the job more efficiently."

http://www.nytimes.com/2009/04/13/fashion/13iht-design13.html

Jun 26, 2009

Pan said...

I believe there is a tactile response from a glass bottle that isn't present in any of the other solutions. The others are all more efficient, but a glass bottle feels better. It's not nostalgia, I prefer the way glass feels, the user experience if you will.
The best way I can think of to describe it as quality or substance.
The same is true of Coke in glass bottles, it feels better, and i'm convinced it tastes better.

Sep 22, 2009

Whiteman said...

Typical human response. Always thinking only of themselves. I want what I want and I want it now! Did you ever stop to think about the elderly or someone who has severe rhumetoid arthritis and can't squeez things with their hands? Maybe you'll live long enough to experience this and remember these words...

Leave a comment...